Christine. 22. Wants to live a simple and boring life.
Amanda Li Ying Meng Kiat Tonggab Yi Wen Yi Xin
May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 February 2012 April 2012
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Inspirations from Bloodcast. Banner by The Fading Night
Employer: Hey you, do like to do this project? Its about blah blah blah, go do research on them and pitch an idea to me later.
Employee: Oh ok.
Like what's the use of asking the question at the start when one is intending to ask me to do something? Really leh. I wonder what'll happen if I say no...probably die ugly right.
I felt like doing some cooking, and so I headed down to Kinokuniya to look at some recipe books. But as I looked and looked, I got hungry and thought of the Wagashi store at B1 at Takashimya selling those pretty pretty Japanese sweets.
Sorry ah bimbo moment the sweet is too damn pretty for its own good already. And the packaging is really very sinful. So many layers of paper are used just to wrap a miserable candy.
Pretty right?
Some Yuzu Jelly thing.
Pretty right?! Okay la maybe not so because my camera skill no good. The real thing looks even prettier. Yah very pretty. The taste is pretty boring also. Too sweet, even agar agar also nicer. But give me konnyaku any day la.
Its true leh, what they say about pretty things. Pretty but NO USE. Branded stuff is also like that la I suppose. Humans are also like that la I suppose. Given a chance, what would you want to be? Pretty or useful? As for me...
I WANT TO BE BOTH. Q(^^Q)
YES THREE MORE WEEKS TO THE END OF MY ATTACHMENT!!! After that I'll be taking my life slowly, doing whatever I want for the two months or so...I initially planned to go Thailand alone...but my parents probably wouldn't approve because its Thailand la...and I got rudely awakened by the fact that I really won't be earning a lot from my attachment. So I think I'll go travel around Singapore and find interesting spots, build up my portfolio, and study for JLPT 2 for this December! But I can vision myself lazing at home all day and watching drama only la. But still I sometimes think that slacking all day, grow fat, do work, go home, become housewife, take care of kids, fight with my mother-in-law, might not be such a good idea.
I told my mum that I want to become like those hosts on travel shows, to travel the world, try everything, be scared of things other than fear that I will get an error message from doing action script. This is what my mum told me.
"Siao! You girl leh, so dangerous, some more you so weak, get sick so easily, and so picky about food, how to travel you tell me?"
True la. And my mum told me that I have to SUPPORT THE FAMILY when I graduate. My god man I'm so not prepared for it eh.
Introducing my family's turtle. He/she/it has got no name, but lets call he/she/it Wugui. When Wugui it is not sleep, it's trying all it's best to climb out of the tank. I always get a lot of entertainment watching it do it. Scratch and scratch Wugui's tiny feet goes on the tank, and suddenly it loses balance and topples back on it's shell, but again Wugui tries, undaunted.
We've had Wugui around for quite a couple of months now, but he never gives up. Sometimes I thought of doing it the favour of putting it in some pond, but don't have one nearby leh. And it'll probably get eaten up la.
I kind of relate myself to Wugui in some weird way la.
肚子不舒服。。。 Monday, July 21, 2008 @ 10:05 PM Fever yesterday. -_-
Saturday was my friend's 21st birthday, and he organised a karaoke party thing at Chinatown and we were all supposed to stay overnight. Of course, its his 21st birthday, and I'll be like the worse baddy around to say no to his invitation, even though karaoke-ing is not my activity in the world. And after so many times of 放飛機 I decided that I couldn't say no again. Even Hui Yuan says that my excuses are getting lamer.
The karaoke room was like a FREEZERRRRRR. I was shivering like mad, and H.Y and L.F had to pass me their sweaters to me. I must have looked rather pitiful when everyone was in high spirits while I was curled up shivering from the cold, ahahaha.
Attack of the faceless monster!!! OAO
The room was booked until 3, and so like youngsters who ran away from home, we went to a hawker centre with stalls still open and Premy remembered I said I wanted beer to warm myself up in the karaoke room just now. And so she ordered a bottle of Heineken.
I drank a whole mug. I don't think one'll get drunk just by drinking a mug but still its my first time I've ever drank so much. Maybe a bit too much. I got really sleepy after that. Beer is nothing compared to sake man, it doesn't warm you up and there's no sweet aftertaste. No nice. =/
Welcome to ghost town A.K.A Chinatown at 5 am.
Chinatown in the early morning really very very very quiet. Rubbish is strewn around everywhere, the hot, shocking red in the day and night is replaced by cold white fluorescent lamps. We all laughed at the amount of rubbish stacked beside a "Uniquely Singapore" visitor booth. Poor sweepers man. They are the people who are maintaining Singapore's clean and green image man. I was really sleepy and sian at this time liao, so Premy and I took a taxi home first.
I got home at around six plus, took a bath, and went to sleep at around seven plus. Mum woke me up at around 4pm, and I was greeted by aches and sores. A fever developed in evening, and I felt like puking. Must be the freezing karaoke room lor. But say really only I was complaining about the cold. I was thinking that I can skip work today, but need to go doctor take MC waste $.
So I went for work today. Damnnnn sian. Well no fever and muscle aches la, but my stomache felt really uncomfortable. Some more I had Nasi Briyani for lunch today, and it was so spicy my whole tongue was like on fire and my nose started to water. Really cannot take spicy stuff leh I. -_- But it was the first time I tried Nasi Briyani.
And the stupid client keep change this change that, CANNOT CONFIRM ONE LEH KNS... I want to hoot them leh really. Some more boss still say my layout very stiff. *sniff* I'm trying hard here and you still say until like that. T_T My mum suddenly called me though, in the evening, and asked if I was okay and she cooked dinner tonight, it cheered me up la. My mum rarely calls me unless its something important la, so hahaha I felt quite touched la! Hahaha paiseh! =D
BUT...4 MORE WEEKS TO GO!!!! I MUST HANG ON! I MUST YOHHHHH!
I don't really cry but... Sunday, July 13, 2008 @ 8:24 PM
But I cried two times today.
I finally finished reading about the story of Shibata Shougou damn really very very 感人啊！I was on the last few pages, reading about his victory, and when I read about the scene whereby he and his father hugged my tear ducts were on full blast. Its been so long since I hugged my dad la. My mum even much longer. But my family has always been like that la. I've never even said the three words to any of my family before. -__- I REALLY SHOULD DO IT!!! But if I were to suddenly say "Hey ma & pa I love you." They surely will think I want to kill myself or something one...
Anyway the other thing that made me cry was the movie 10 promises to my dog.
I had the unpleasant memory of having to shut my eyes to stop looking at the scene because simply by looking it I know I'll cry. I kept telling myself cannot cry cannot cry damn paiseh later Huiling see how! But still I did lar. Good thing I didn't have to blow my nose. I even developed a headache in the process of stopping myself from crying...￣Д￣;;
Thank you for your reply to my question, Huiling and Li Ying. I suppose we are all quite alike, but I think the question "What makes you got OMG in the opposite sex?" I actually had the thought of OMG as in digusting, not OMG wow. Aahahaha. Here are my answers.
1. What's your best memory in your life?
I can't say that I have a best memory, but I have many many good memories, especially laughing with friends, in secondary school and in kendo, how come we can all laugh over such ridiculous things, being encouraged by people around me those are my most precious memories.
2. Your favourite word?
Same as Li Ying. Wah kao eh! (Er okay that was three words) Yah very chor lor la I know.
3. Your favourite song recently and why?
Drive Alive by LEAD. Although I don't really like rap but it makes me feel more energetic whenever I feel sleepy. (Eh Huiling how come you like Xiao Jing Teng ah? His voice damn nasal leh.)
4. Where and what do you want to be reincarnated as?
As Christine Neo Chai Yuan Version 2, as in a cleverer version of me. Preferably in a country that is cold, hee. (Huiling why you want to be a polar bear!?)
5. What makes you go OMG!!! in the opposite sex?
Dirty toe nails and cocky attitude. (As in bad OMG)
Sharp eyes. Don't really know how to explain how they look like la...not like piercing sharp, but a bit like asian silt eyes =) (As in good OMG)
6. Tell me about a happy but ordinary thing that happened to you.
Eating dinner cooked by mum after work. And also meeting up with Huiling for movie today and the Kendo people.
7. Tell me about a something that made you very very happy recently.
Ditto question six. =)
8. What's a blog to you?
A place where I can be honest with myself, although I still watch what I say. Is that still honest!?
9. What do you want to do, in the future, or even now?
I want to try working as a zoo keeper. =
10. What age do you wish to return to, and why?
Secondary 4 and 5. I can't remember living in a more carefree way. All the drama of Secondary School! Ahhh I want to go want back eh...
I really got no life now. Saturday, July 12, 2008 @ 12:18 AM I know I've said this many many many times, BUT I WANT TO GET OUT OF WORKING LIFE PRONTO. 我要回學校上課！
Well virtually I'm cut off from my course mates now, but its a relief that I can still meet up with my secondary school friends and the people from Kendo. Meeting up with them always makes me wish that time can just go faster, so that I can meet up with them more. But by that time a lot of them go attachment ah... (-o-)
Ever since the start of attachment, I've been feeling sleepy everyday. Too much of computer eh I suppose, and so I slept during Japanese class today AGAIN! And my teacher would be reminding us "JLPT 2 coming! Mogi test next next week!"
I intended to go home straight after my classes, but NOTE: LI YING TOLD ME SHE MISSED ME VERY MUCH so I went back to meet them all~♪
Pretty surprised to see Gabriel there because of his achillestendoninjurywhatsitsandsomustrestforonemonth. Anyway I can't really remember what we talked about because of the very big and shocking news Li Ying told me. That one news blocked my memory liao.
But I remember Gabriel saying that I'm not as simple as I look. In answer to that, I want to say that Gabriel Tong is not simple also! One who thinks another is not simple is not simple himself, hor?
I don't think that I'm complicated la, I just like to think. Without even thinking, I just think. About everything and anything, from what should I eat for lunch later to why the MRT cabins in the morning are so smelly. I suppose I'm used to it la. I ask myself questions, and try to find an answer. I like to observe people around me, why they look like that, what their backgrounds might be like, I like to think about it. When I'm schooling I'm surrounded by thinkers, hardcore thinkers at that, able to conjure up a mahjong paper sized mind map in their heads within a few seconds. The lecturers would always ask us to question ourselves, reason, cause, value, objective, target audience, whatever. It may sound wow and all but I really am quite simple minded in my course, all my concepts and ideas are always very amateur one.
In conclusion, I just like to think. ^^V In fact I have a habit of speaking to myself, especially when I'm walking and not listening to my MP3.
Anyway, if you guys have the time, answer these questions on your blog, or somewhere I can read. Just purely want to know how you guys look at stuff and think. They're pretty personal questions, so you can just answer any that you feel like answer.
1. What's your best memory in your life?
2. Your favourite word?
3. Your favourite song recently and why?
4. Where and what do you want to be reincarnated as?
5. What makes you go OMG!!! in the opposite sex?
6. Tell me about a happy but ordinary thing that happened to you.
7. Tell me about a something that made you very very happy recently.
8. What's a blog to you?
9. What do you what to do, in the future, or even now?
10. What age do you wish to return to, and why?
Thank you! (*^▽^*)o~♪
What if... Wednesday, July 9, 2008 @ 10:00 PM What if someone told you that you have a few more years to live? What would you regret, and how would you live your life the next few years?
And a question to kendokas...if you had some sort of disease that would worsen if you continued kendo, would you continue? Sounds stupid as most people would stop la, but I was just wondering.
Uh the reason why I asked that silly question is because recently I've been reading this book:
The title, roughly translated means "dreams go on as long as one doesn't gives up". Its been a long time since a book has moved me so much. This guy, Shibata Shougou, has been diagnosed with a rare disease called Behçet's disease , and this guy loves his baseball so much disease doesn't even stops him from playing, even if it means that the walls of intestines might tear and other disgusting stuff. And in the end his team went to Koshien, which is something like World Cup in the football world. You may think that this book is just some other oh-my-god-so-inspiring-sob story in any other Reader's Digest article, but it portrays him just like us every human, having his unpleasant sides, teammates disliking him and stuff. Reading what he went through already made me squirm in discomfort, like having things shoved up into the asshole during checkups. So many times he had went in and out of hospital.
I tried to imagine myself in his position, wanting to work and try hard but can't. How many of us can actually ever feel that?
Anyway this is the guy. Its a special tv program that featured him and his baseball team, the people around him who supported him. I REALLY AM VERY TOUCHED BY THE BONDING IN HIS TEAM AHHHH!!! Sorry its all in Japanese, but I think those who don't know Japanese roughly also can understand.
(By the way if the video is half blocked, click on "Journal" on the top of the page at the navigation section. Just in case you have a same problem as I do.)
YES! I must find a dream and immerse myself in it so much that I am willing to stake my life on it! HA!
Huuu! Tuesday, July 8, 2008 @ 12:28 AM Last Kendo training today before the one month break. Well I didn't know it till Suresh told us at the end of the training. AND TO MY HUGE SURPRISE I SORT OF FELT "OH NO!" INSTEAD OF "OHHHH YES!!!" But after I sorted out my feelings a bit I figured that if I stopped for so long the "Lazy Disease" would come after me. AGAIN. BUT I BELIEVE THIS IS A TEST OF MY DETERMINATION! URGHH!!!
Speaking of training. Had a chance to do some basics before jigeiko. I felt really blur. Hitting kote on a motodachi feels so weird after hitting air for such a long time. Gabriel pointed out at the way I held my shinai. (´･ω･｀'A) So pai seh. I have been practicing at home for so long in a wrong way! No wonder the muscles in my fingers felt so tired after only fifty times of men cut.
Had jigeiko with Li ying after that. Again I forgot the first cut of kirikaeshi was on where arh!! Heng is with Li Ying ah, if with senior I sure tio hoot. (-。－;) Jigeiko with Li Ying is almost always fun though. Its so fun its like chambara. But for now I can clearly see the difference between Li Ying's, Yi wen's and Amanda's fighting styles liao bah. But I'm no sensei so I really can't tell what's good what's bad lar.
A week before today's training I've been thinking of asking Suresh for jigeiko. I actually needed one week to decide whether I should queue for him today, but I still did today lar. Anyway, I can only describe the jigeiko like I'm looking into some mirror of truth that shows only the unpleasant side of me. Its something that I've always wanted to hide away from, but I suppose if I don't face up to my mistakes I won't ever be able to improve. Jigeiko with Suresh honestly was like Sumo wrestling. I've exhausted almost all of my energy just by pushing him away, my men came off loose, and I was so concentrated on not getting my back on the ground that I really didn't think of conserving any energy. But I knew that it wasn't my strength that pushed Suresh back. I knew that he sort of let me go. No time to feel relieved though. I was panting like a bull and my tenugui fell down to my eyes. All I could see was the red of my tenugui. I just went in for men for quite a few times, and Suresh was like "T&*&^%%$#!!!" Something totally intelligible to me. He had to shout his "T&*&^%%$#!!!" for like 5, 6 times before I realised that he was talking to me. He repeated it for like 10 times before I understood that its "YOUR LEFT LEG DON'T COME IN FRONT!!!!" ε=(￣。￣;) I suppose taking drugs feels like that bah. I felt so disorientated that my trip to MOS was as refreshing as after a yoga session. But my god leh my hearing REALLY VERY BAD. I still felt that doing jigeiko with Suresh...Ah I don't know how to explain lar. You feel that you've learnt something, but still so powerless. I suppose that feeling is being humbled ba. YES I FEEL HUMBLED! AND UM GUM WAN! I felt that I could have done much more. Yah um gum wan lar. At myself.
After training I felt very energetic mentally, but my body was tired. But this mental wake up made me feel "Ahh, I'm still alive. I'm still a human. That feels good." I forget all about work, drop all pretenses I've done at work and be a normal 19 year old Christine Neo Chai Yuan. I suppose this is the beautiful thing about Kendo bah, during training only la. Anything out of training is another thing liao.
Yes! Sunday, July 6, 2008 @ 1:36 PM 6 MORE WEEKS BEFORE THE END OF ATTACHMENT! I'M HALFWAY THROUGH!!!
Another virgin experience. Thursday, July 3, 2008 @ 12:52 AM Met up with the FYP gang for dinner at Clarke Quay today after work. After spending a lot of time deciding where to dine at, we eventually decided to go have pasta at Waraku. We thought that the queue would be much faster than others, but in the end we still waited for more than half an hour. While waiting we caught up with each other's latest happenings and stuff. After listening to Ivan's story I felt a little lucky that I was having my attachment at Elzeno. He was doing flash scripting and some kind of multi touch chim chim stuff. And the people around all had master's degree and PHD whatever.
Honestly, I've never liked to be with clever people. One thing is that they make me feel stupid. Another thing is they'll never be able to understand why we dim witted people cannot understand things in a snap of a finger like them. They can't understand why we can't understand something that seems so simple to them. Why why why. To me clever people holding PHDs and Masters who cannot even understand normal people like us are nothing to me. But I suppose its because they've never been normal.
Whatever happened after our dinner was unplanned and totally spontaneous. Someone within our gang just suggested whether we wanted to go down to Ministry of Sound to take a look, and since we were near we decided to go. But before that we took a group photo together, and Calvin went to ask this ang mo guy to help us take picture. The ang mo mistaken him as some salesman/annoying student selling flags/beggar and told him to go away until Calvin made clear about his request, ahahahaha. Calvin really very funny sometimes one.
Anyway we ventured down to the neon lighted streets, passing over smoking ah bengs, trishaw uncles and their blaring techno music, curious tourists and girls in skin baring outfits. It was really quite dark, but I remember I saw a lot of cleavages of ang mo people. I felt like a tourist myself, looking all around, and I remember that there's this weird hospital theme cafe.
Don't know if you guys would know where I was at from this above picture. Its like the only clear pic I've taken of. -_-
Anyway when we reached MOS I was surprised at the queue. I didn't know you had to queue to go in. -_- The entrance looked totally different from my mental image. Oh well. But we decided to take advantage of the student's special thing and guys could even enter for free before 11pm. I felt a little uneasy when I had to pass my EZ link card over for this pretty lady to check. I felt like a total noob la, but she flashed me a smile and told me to proceed. The entrance already had vapours of dry ice pouring out, and again I felt uneasy when the intimidating security guards checked our stuff and such, although I'm pretty sure they knew that we're just here for sightseeing.
After passing through the security check, I was immediately overwhelmed by the loudness of the blaring music, so loud my guts were trembling at every beat and the ground throbbed under my feet. Everywhere was dark except for streams of spotlights and coloured beams. I was disorientated in an instant.
As it was still early, there weren't a lot of people around. But we knew that there were people were leering at us for behaving in such a touristy way. And there was already this ang mo guy making out with some girl. A lot of the girls suddenly had their pelvis bones dislocated and were swinging their hips side to side when they walked like no one's business. I was busy blocking my eardrums from the super duper loud music. Puffs of dry ice appeared from nowhere and stung my eyes. The whole place was so cold I was shivering. I was silently wondering why would anyone feel this place as remotely fun, a place to relax, to drown all their worries in a drink and escape from the harsh realities of the day. I immediately wanted to go out, and never step into the place again. I felt very insecure, not just because there were strangers leering at us but being in there made me felt as though some part of me has been numbed, or one of my five senses has been taken away. I was like walking through a scene in some show, watching the scene go before me in a kind of a dreamy, foggy kind of way. Everyone's face was mystified by dark shadows, dyed in strange hues of pink and blue.
I suppose that's the feeling some people want to get out of when they go to club ba. To forget who they are, even if for a moment, to submerge themselves in this surreal environment where everyone is so free and open. In our group of five, only two of us had been to a club. One of my male friend is a freqent clubber, so he was like quite on and was like, "EH GO DANCE EH! GO DANCE EH!" while I was like "EH GO HOME EH! GO HOME EH!". I had my attention on this (again) ang mo group of clubbers, who were the only dancers at that time. There was only one female in the group, dressed in a short tube dress and heels bua-ing with the guys. They really don't know how to dance lar, and the guy just kept bua-ing back lor. Then suddenly this guy, toot toot one just danced there alone, shaking shaking and kept repeating the same movements. A bit sad ah, dance alone. He must be really troubled to do something like that.
Soon enough we got tired of this place and got out. Honestly I felt an urge to ask everyone in the club at that time what their dreams, fears and troubles were. For what reason were they in there, what do they feel when they are in there.
Perhaps I could gain an interesting perspective from them eh.
Humans are twisted. Tuesday, July 1, 2008 @ 9:40 PM I don't usually check my mail. When I do, its usually avoid accumulated junk mail and to read mail from my friends. I do get interesting mail forwarded to me, but most of them are just mail that is like "if you don't pass this around you'll get eight years of bad luck bla". People who never talked to you in years suddenly appear in your mailbox list with their "good stuff".
And today I got one that says that someone's son died because he treated the mail as junk and eight days later his son died. If you forward it to 20 people you'll get good luck.
Here's my say. Its not about a question of believing or not, but for the good of earth don't forward these kind of mails to me. To be honest I get queasy when I delete these mails and I would pray fervently to guan yin ma to help me advert the evil brought to my way. Sometimes I wonder why till now I don't have a boyfriend is because I always delete these kind of mails.
If you don't have meaningful mails to share, kindly keep the "good stuff" to yourself. If I happen to open these mails on a day with a bad mood, I will personally block your mail add pronto! -_-