Christine. 22. Wants to live a simple and boring life.
Amanda Li Ying Meng Kiat Tonggab Yi Wen Yi Xin
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End of work day. Under Gabriel's nagging last week, I went down back for training today. My god how many times I felt like going straight home, but my hand sort of picked up my bogu bag on its own accord, and my stomach was churning the whole time I was on the MRT ride. I couldn't even concentrate on the novel that I was reading. On my way to NYP I kept repeating "Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be afraid of" like a hundred times. I didn't even know what I was afraid of.
And so I dragged myself all the way to the club room, then past the gym (woah the smell there was horrible. Worse than the kendo smell), and into the changing room. I felt a bit lonely at that time ah, changing into my gi and hakama. I sat down on the bench to calm myself down again. I just kept thinking, Amanda, Li Ying and Yi wen will be there. It'll be fine. They'll be there to help me. It'll be fine. And so I entered our dojo and first saw Nasu and Amanda there. Somehow I felt rather calm after seeing them. Well I did a bit of a warm up, then asked for Suresh's permission to join training. Dunno why but I got a bit emotional when I asked for his permission. My face was a little cramped and I just kept smiling in an uneasy way.
The juniors were training for their first grading ah, I didn't really want to correct their hitting and everything, because I knew I was rusty and would probably show them the wrong thing, but I still wanted to help with whatever I can ba.
After that jigeiko with Li Ying first, very shuang. Li Ying become more serious liao ah, and quite offensive also, can feel a bit of a threatening aura around her. And when I fought with her I felt motivated to put in my 100%. But 100% until a bit too much and 10 minutes into keiko I a bit seh liao.
After Li Ying was Amanda. Amanda, still is like that. Steady steady one. Difficult to hit. But the keiko was fun, because Amanda is a bit trickier than Li ying.
But coming back, the smell, the people, the sounds, everything, really refreshed me from a tiring day's work. Eating dinner, talking cock, feels damn shiok. I remember feeling a rather sudden surge of affection for Li Ying and Amanda during dinner just now, and I just grabbed onto their arms and shook them. Aahahah crazy I know.
After this is the second step ba. I hope this feeling latches onto me till the next week.